The Final Prayer

Submitted by David N. Blank

BLANK@BRANDEIS


And it came to pass, that early in the morning of the last day of the semester, there arose a multitude smiting their books and wailing; and there was much weeping and gnashing of teeth; for the day of judgment was at hand and they were sore afraid. For they had done those things which they ought not have done, and they had left undone those things which they should have done... and there was no help for it.

And there were many abiding in the dorms who had kept watch over their books all night, but naught availeth. But some there were who arose smilingly, for they had prepared for themselves the way, and made straight the path of knowledge. And these wise ones are called the curve-busters. And the multitude arose and ate a hearty breakfast.

And they came unto the appointed place, and their hearts were heavy with-in them. And they came to pass, but some passed out. And some of them repented their riotous living, and bemoaned their fate. But they had not a prayer.

And at the last hour, there arose among them one known as the professor, he of the diabolical smile, who passed papers among them, and went upon his way. Many and varied were the questions asked by the professor, but still more varied were the answers which were given, for some of his teachings had fallen upon fertile minds, others had fallen upon the semi-fertile, while still others had fallen flat. And some there wrote for one hour, others wrote for two, but some turned away sorrowful. And of these, many offered up a little bull, as a sacrifice, in hope of pacifying the professor, for these were the ones who had not a prayer. And when they had finished, they gathered up their belongings, and went quietly away, each in his own direction, and each one vowing to himself in this manner: "I shall not pass this way again." But it is a long road that hath no turning.

Here endeth the lesson.


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